The First Draft Is the Fitting, Not the Finished Suit
Executive Summary: I draft legal documents the way a tailor fits a suit. I start with a proven structure, show the client an actual draft, and then adjust the approach,…
The Performative Care Trap: Why Family Court Is Addicted to Therapy
There is a ritual that plays out with remarkable regularity in Utah family court proceedings. A divorce becomes ugly. A parent is angry. A child is anxious. Communication deteriorates. Someone…
When “Special Training” Becomes a Credentialist Dodge
What “Special Training” Does a Judge Really Need to Talk to a Child? In Utah child custody disputes, one of the stock objections to having a judge interview a child…
Let the Judge Talk to the Child. Have the Judge Talk to the Child
One of the strangest objections to judges interviewing children in child custody disputes is that the interview might make the child anxious. Of course it might. The child’s parents are…
When (and Why) Cheap Therapy Culture Makes Family Law Worse
Mental-health awareness has helped people recognize genuine illness, obtain treatment, and speak about suffering without shame. That is real progress. But family law increasingly reveals the other side of the…
Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t: Responding to Domestic-Violence Allegations in Protective-Order Cases
An innocent respondent in a protective-order case often faces a problem that courts do not acknowledge clearly enough: The more fully he explains what happened, the more material he may give…
The Court Proceedings Recording Ban That HB 540 Didn’t Fix
Utah's state court rules still prohibit litigants and attorneys from making their own audio recordings of court proceedings, even when a proceeding is open to the public and no legitimate…
Your Therapist May Need a Second Opinion Too
I recently encountered a Facebook Reel that is funnier—and probably truer—than many people will be comfortable admitting. Watch the original Reel here. The Reel’s creator identifies what she calls the…
Viewing Pre- and Post-Nuptial Agreements Through the Humanity Lens
Viewing Pre- and Post-Nuptial Agreements Through the Humanity Lens A premarital agreement is sold to clients as a piece of financial engineering. It provides certainty. It protects separate property. It…
When the Old Lame Excuses Fail, New Ones Will Be Invented
Judges in child custody disputes should hear from children more often. A lot more often. It should be routine, the presumptive course, the default. Not because children should decide custody…
One Opinion, Seven Letterheads: The Family Court Echo Chamber
Christine Miller recently made a point about family court that deserves more attention: the appearance of independent professional agreement where no genuine independence exists. When a court appoints a private guardian…
SB 304 Promised a Fix for Weaponized Protective Orders. Read the Statute
Anyone who practices Utah family law has watched it happen. A child custody dispute is going badly for one parent, or hasn't started yet, and a protective order petition appears.…
Protection Without Prejudice
A temporary protective order should do one thing well: protect against the danger actually alleged and shown by nothing less than a preponderance of the evidence. It should not become…
When “More Likely Than Not” Becomes “Maybe, So Better Safe Than Sorry”
A low evidentiary burden is still a burden. That should be obvious. In Utah temporary protective order practice, however, it is often treated as optional. The preponderance of the evidence…
The Paper Shield: Protecting Victims Without Abandoning Due Process
Few legal proceedings can rearrange a person’s life as quickly as an ex parte protective order. A judge can remove someone from the family home, restrict contact with children, limit access to…
The Bloodletting of Family Law: When the System Mistakes Itself for the Cure
For centuries, physicians bled their patients and called it medicine. The patients got weaker; the doctors, confident in their training, prescribed more bleeding. Medicine now has a name for harm…
Arb-Med in Divorce: Why the First Reaction May Be Wrong
New ideas are rarely adopted by the average person first. That is a useful point Seth Godin recently made in his blog recently. When you ask ordinary people whether they like a…
Fear Wearing the Mask of Reason
On the surface, family court looks like a place of reason. There are statutes, rules of evidence, financial declarations, parenting plans, sworn testimony, judicial findings, and orders written in the…
Divorce Decree Property Awards Survive Death: Slaughter v. Alleman
2026 UT App 85 THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS JOHN B. ALLEMAN, Petitioner, v. THE HONORABLE CHRISTINE JOHNSON AND APRIL SLAUGHTER, Respondents. APRIL SLAUGHTER, Appellee, v. JOHN B. ALLEMAN, Appellant.…
Divorce Does Not Make Underemployment Invisible in Utah Alimony Cases
When a spouse earns less after divorce is filed, the court does not have to accept the lower number just because it appears on a paycheck. That is one of…
Jenkins v. Jenkins – Imputed Income and Fault-Based Alimony
2026 UT App 86 THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS KRISTINE JENKINS, Appellee, v. EVAN K. JENKINS, Appellant. Opinion No. 20241206-CA Filed May 29, 2026 Fourth District Court, Provo Department The…
The Answer to Commoditization Is Not Better Marketing. It’s Better Lawyering.
Many divorce and family lawyers want to earn more. Few ask what they must do differently to be worth more. Lawyers complain about being commoditized. They complain that clients shop…
Walking in Their Shoes: The Reciprocal Argument Rule in Family Law Litigation
Family court is not ordinary litigation. In a business dispute, the parties may fight hard, settle, and never see each other again. In divorce and child custody disputes, the parties…
No Remedy Without a Wrong: Why Family Courts Must Stop Rewarding Fabricated Grievances
There is a basic principle at the heart of equity: where there is a legal wrong, there should be a remedy. But the inverse matters just as much: where there…
Child Custody and Parent-time Awards Need to Incorporate More Humility
Many parents (I’d say even most parents) enter family court hoping someone will fix everything. Believing that: the judge will see through the lies. the custody evaluator will identify the…
Co-Parenting Apps: Useful Tool or Expensive Solution in Search of a Problem?
Parenting apps are now everywhere in modern child custody disputes. Lawyers recommend them. Parenting coordinators recommend them. Guardians ad litem recommend them. Courts sometimes order them. And the companies behind…
When No Good Deed Goes Unpunished in Divorce
Good behavior in a marriage is often the wrong behavior in a divorce action (and vice versa) Divorce changes the rules midstream. That is the part most people don’t see…
Parenting Apps: A (Paid) Solution Looking for a Problem
Everyone in family law has heard the pitch: download a parenting app, pay a monthly fee, and suddenly your co-parenting problems become organized, documented, and “court-ready.” It sounds responsible. It…
Part I – The Fragility Rationale and the Case for Making and Preserving Records
The Fragility Rationale The most common justification for not making and keeping a record of child testimony rests on fragility. Knowing that the interview will be recorded, it is said,…
Why You Should Run Proposed Communications by Your Divorce Attorney First
(Yes—even the “harmless” ones) One of the most common and most avoidable mistakes people make during a divorce is communicating too freely, too casually, or too confidently with their spouse…
Why Courts Should Explain How They Hear Children in Custody Cases
Evidence, Record-Making, and the Limits of Testimonial Substitution Courts, lawyers, and commissioners in child custody and parent-time disputes often operate on an unspoken assumption: that the only acceptable way to…
The False Virtue of Silence: Why We Must Stop Silencing Children in Custody Disputes
There is a pervasive, almost religious orthodoxy in family law litigation over child custody and parent-time that goes something like this: “We must protect the children. Therefore, we must never…
Why Do Many Parents With Bad Relationships Not Divorce for the Sake of Their Children?
You’ve no doubt heard many answers to this question. People love simple explanations—“They stay for the kids,” “They’re scared,” “They’re loyal,” “They’re trapped.” Sometimes that may be the case, but…
Paralegals and Legal Assistants Aren’t Your Lawyer, but They Are a Lifeline
When you hire a divorce lawyer, you aren’t usually hiring one person, you’re hiring a team. That’s by design, and it’s not meant to be “shortcut” for your lawyer to…
What Advice Would You Give to Someone Who Is Contemplating Divorce?
Divorce is almost always harder, slower, more expensive, and more damaging—financially and emotionally—than people expect. Unless you are married to someone truly abusive or irreparably toxic, the better course is…
Protecting Parental Rights: Why Sole Custody Shouldn’t Be the Default Response
A single mistake shouldn't cost a parent his or her relationship with his/her child. Yet too often, family courts award sole custody based on isolated incidents or "aberrant behavior" that…
I Don’t Think I Can Continue With My Divorce Case. What Should I Do? By Braxton Mounteer, Legal Assistant
If you’re feeling like you can’t go on with your divorce case, know that you’re not alone in feeling that way. And you’re not weak for feeling overwhelmed. Take a…
How to Handle Child Custody When the Mother Is Negatively Influencing the Child?
Although they shouldn't do it, courts will generally treat mothers and fathers differently simply based upon sex. Sexual discrimination, to put it bluntly. Not all courts do this, but many…
How to Handle Child Custody When the Mother Is Negatively Influencing the Child?
Do you want the truth? Or, more accurately, the truth as I see it, having practiced divorce and family law for the past 28 years as of the date I…
How Common Are Cases Where Divorce Proceedings Take a Dramatic Turn Because of Unexpected Evidence, Like in Court Dramas?
In my 28 years’ experience, it’s not common. Indeed, if divorce cases took dramatic turns routinely, they couldn’t be considered dramatic turns. That stated, very true a skilled divorce lawyer…
Do Kids Like 50/50 Custody Schedules?
Some do, some don't. Generally, however, when both parents live in the same neighborhood, so that their children are able to get to school, interact with the same friends, attend…
What to Bring to a Consultation with a Divorce Lawyer
Preparing for a consultation with a divorce lawyer is an important step in understanding your rights and options. To make the most of your meeting, consider bringing the following: Provide…
Do We Need More and Better Court Intervention in Domestic Relations Cases?
In many types of civil litigation, the core issue is not whether time is of the essence, but whether one will eventually recover compensation, and if so, how much. Yes,…
Why Collaborative Divorce Usually Isn’t Worth It
In theory, collaborative divorce sounds ideal. What is "collaborative divorce"? The two spouses discuss together with their lawyers, mental health professional, financial specialist, and sometimes a child psychologist or development specialist…
The Case for Fault-Based Divorce: A Perspective from the Trenches of Family Law
As a legal assistant at a family law firm (and as a soon to be law school graduate), I see firsthand how the current no-fault divorce regime can create problems…
How to Be a Good Client in Your Utah Divorce Case
Divorce is for most people a very stressful and emotional process. If you are ready to hire a divorce attorney, knowing how to approach working with your attorney can significantly…
What Can a Father Do If, After the Divorce, the Mother, Who Has Custody of the Child, Turns the Child Against the Father?
What can a father do if, after the divorce, the mother, who has custody of the child, turns the child against the father? What can he do? There are many things he…
If You Are Not Happy With the Current Child Custody Arrangement, Can You Change It?
I cannot answer this question as it applies to all jurisdictions, but I can answer it as it applies to the jurisdiction where I practice family law (Utah): Merely because you are…
It Tolls for Thee: The All Too Frequent Tragic Cost and Futility of Family Court
“Quid rides? Mutato nomine et de te fabula narrator. [Why do you laugh ? Change only the name and this story is about you.]” Here’s a deeply disturbing but all…
In What Specific Ways Can a Family Law Attorney Take Advantage of a Pro SE Party in a Divorce Case?
Most predictably and intuitively: They can take advantage of their greater knowledge of the law and court rules to make better arguments and to outmaneuver you in a case, whether…