Get to the Point
There’s a simple way to reduce confusion and wasted time: answer the question that was asked—first, directly, and without detours. In law, this matters more than most people realize. When…
The Thing One Rarely Says Out Loud When Divorce Starts
When divorce or a child custody dispute begins, most people think they know what they’re fighting for. The house. The retirement account. The business. Parent-time. Child support. Alimony. Those are…
The Obvious Variable No One Addresses: How Gender Distorts Protective Order Decisions – Part II of II
Protective orders are among the most powerful and disruptive tools Utah courts wield—all on an expedited timeline and often on a limited record. The law governing these orders is clearly…
What I Have to Remind Myself of with a New Divorce Client
When divorce or a child custody dispute begins, most people think they know what they’re fighting for. The house. The retirement account. The business. Parent-time. Child support. Alimony. Those are real issues. They matter. They need…
Utah’s Legal “Pause”: When a Temporary Separation May Be Smarter Than Immediate Divorce
When a marriage is in serious trouble, many people assume the only decisive move is to file for divorce. Sometimes that’s true. But oftentimes it isn’t. Utah law provides another…
Who Is in Charge of a Lawsuit: the Client or the Lawyer?
People who hire a lawyer tend to assume one of two extremes. Either: “I hired the lawyer, so the lawyer does what I say.” Or: “The lawyer is the professional,…
The Language Barrier of Divorce: Decoding Divorce Jargon
Divorce is hard enough on its own. Add in legal paperwork packed with unfamiliar terms, and it can feel like you’re suddenly expected to speak a completely new language. For…
My Experience as a Legal Assistant with No Prior Experience
When I began working as a legal assistant, I expected the role to involve primarily traditional administrative tasks—answering phone calls, managing emails, and scheduling—along with some legal-specific responsibilities such as…
Home Equity Red Flags Every Divorce Attorney (and Client) Should Catch Early
Guest post by Joe Gordon Broker / Owner / Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert Direct: 801-577-6304 Email: Joe@Gordon-RealEstate.com www.UtahDivorceRealEstate.com This practice tip comes to you after a heartbreaking case where the…
The Muzzled Meadow
I. The Founding TraumaIn the Meadow, everyone agreed on one thing: voices were dangerous.It hadn’t always been so. Long ago, animals spoke plainly. Some spoke well, somepoorly, some too much.…
How the Bridge Was Made Unsafe
A wide river ran through the village.A wooden bridge connected the banks. The villagers depended on the bridge. They crossed it to go to work, to the market, to visit…
The Demonization Myth in Divorce and Custody Cases (And Why It Sometimes Works)
There is a persistent belief in divorce and custody cases that goes something like this: “If I can make the court view my spouse as dangerous, dishonest, or morally repugnant,…
When to Ask a Lawyer (or Another Lawyer) to Look at Your Divorce Case
If your divorce case feels stuck, confusing, or quietly drifting toward a bad outcome, that’s often the right moment to ask a lawyer to review it, even if you already…
Why Utah Courts Resist Interviewing Children, and Why That Resistance Is Simply Not Defensible
Utah courts deciding child custody and parent-time disputes are charged with acting in the “best interests of the child.” But with exceptions so rare as to be almost meaningless, Utah…
The Court Is Not Your Concierge: Why Expecting Personal Care and Attention Can Weaken Your Case
Many people (most) entering into a divorce or custody case often carry an unspoken assumption: surely this judge will see how important this is. Surely the court will recognize the unfairness,…
When Divorced or Separated Parents Can’t Agree: A Serious Look at Tie-Breaking in Joint Legal Custody
One of the least discussed problems in joint legal custody is not conflict, it’s stalemate. Joint legal custody means both parents share decision-making authority over major issues like education, non-emergency…
If You’re Separated Over the Holidays, January Is a Decision Point, Whether You Like It or Not
For many spouses who separated earlier in the year (whether at the outset or mid-year), coming to the end of that year without having initiated the divorce process or without…
The January Divorce Spike: What People Get Wrong About “Starting Fresh”
Every January, divorce filings rise. The phenomenon is real enough that it is known among many divorce lawyers and courts as the January divorce spike. What’s mostly fiction is the…
“Erring on the Side of Caution” Is Still Error: Why Utah Courts Must Stop Quietly Abandoning the Burden of Proof in Protective Order Cases
Utah law requires domestic violence protective orders to be supported by a preponderance of the evidence. Increasingly, courts are not applying that standard. Instead, they substitute an unwritten “better safe than…
Court Is Not an Open Mic: Why You Can’t Raise Whatever You Want at a Utah Divorce Hearing
A Utah divorce hearing is limited by the motion before the court, the relief requested, and the evidence properly noticed and submitted. If an issue is not teed up procedurally…
Hearing is Not Harm: Why Utah Child Custody Courts Must Rethink the Code of Silence
In the practice of family law, we often hear a sentiment that is as ubiquitous as it is hollow: "We must protect the children from the litigation." On its face,…
When Representation Replaces Evidence: The Procedural Problem with PGAL Recommendations
Appointing a private guardian ad litem in a child custody and parent-time dispute case often creates a closed loop in which children who are the subject of the dispute cannot…
Why Blanket Bans on Child Testimony Fail Children in Child Custody and Parent-time Dispute Litigation
For too long, the family law system in Utah has operated under an almost universal, yet unproven, assumption: that any minor child who is the subject of a high-conflict custody…
The Tools Already Exist: Utah’s Evidentiary Framework and the Impermissible Silencing of Child Witnesses in Custody and Parent-time Disputes
Utah courts frequently exclude child testimony in custody and parent-time proceedings on the asserted ground that doing so protects children from emotional harm. That premise is mistaken. Categorical exclusion is…
The False Virtue of Silence: Why We Must Stop Silencing Children in Custody Disputes
There is a pervasive, almost religious orthodoxy in family law litigation over child custody and parent-time that goes something like this: “We must protect the children. Therefore, we must never…
The PGAL Problem: Utah’s Well-Intended System Has Deteriorated Into Something It Was Never Designed to Be
Utah Code § 78A-2-705 provides that (1) The court may appoint an attorney as a private attorney guardian ad litem to represent the best interests of the minor in any…
The Stranger in a Robe: 6 Things Divorce Litigants Do to Their Own Detriment
For most who are going through a divorce, whether as the petitioner or as the respondent, they worry about the big, immediate questions: “Who gets the kids? Who gets the…
When Would It Be Appropriate to Modify a Utah Custody Order?
Child custody orders are not etched in stone, but neither are they revolving doors. Utah law makes that clear. Parents often assume that if circumstances “change” at all (no matter…
Why Do Many Parents With Bad Relationships Not Divorce for the Sake of Their Children?
You’ve no doubt heard many answers to this question. People love simple explanations—“They stay for the kids,” “They’re scared,” “They’re loyal,” “They’re trapped.” Sometimes that may be the case, but…
Is Divorce a Failure, or Can It Be an Act of Growth and Self-Respect?
Both can be true. No rational, caring person marries with divorce as the goal, so divorce is—definitionally—a failed marriage. But that clearly does not make every divorce a personal failure.…
What Type of Couple Has the Highest Divorce Rate?
People love simple answers. “Couples who marry young.” “Couples without money.” “Couples in second marriages.” “Couples who don’t share hobbies.” You’ve seen the lists. The question itself is flawed. There…
What Is the Average Age for Men and Women Who Divorce?
United States Generally In 2020, the median age at first divorce was 42.6 for men and 40.1 for women (Bowling Green State University).[1] The median age varies by demographics: Among…
Even the Best Divorce Lawyer Can’t Turn a Weak Case Into a Strong One
There’s a persistent belief in the divorce and custody world that the “right” divorce and child custody lawyer can work miracles. That if you hire someone clever enough, aggressive enough,…
What Are Attorney Bar Numbers, and What Can They Tell You?
In Utah, each licensed attorney is assigned a bar number. Mine, for example, is 7559. An attorney bar number (also often called a bar license number or registration number) is…
How to Reopen Discovery for Good Cause in Utah Family Law Cases
Once discovery closes in your Utah divorce, child custody, or support case, it’s supposed to stay closed. The court expects both sides to be finished gathering evidence and ready for…
What Counts as “New Evidence” After Discovery Closes in a Utah Divorce Case?
When discovery closes in your Utah divorce, child custody, or support case, you can’t keep gathering (or using at trial) new evidence unless it fits a very narrow exception.Many people…
When Discovery Closes, It’s Really Closed: What That Means in Utah Family Law Cases
When discovery closes in your Utah divorce, child custody, or support case, that’s the official end of the evidence-gathering phase. You can’t send out new discovery requests, And you can’t…
Why a Good Lawyer Often Asks You Questions Before He Answers Yours
People rarely ask plainly the tough questions they actually need answered. In divorce and custody cases, clients often ask surface questions (“How much will this cost?” “Can I get full…
Paralegals and Legal Assistants Aren’t Your Lawyer, but They Are a Lifeline
When you hire a divorce lawyer, you aren’t usually hiring one person, you’re hiring a team. That’s by design, and it’s not meant to be “shortcut” for your lawyer to…
Divorce Without the Drama: 12 Practical Preparation Steps Anyone Can Take Now
Divorce is a legal process, yes, but it’s also financial, practical, and personal. The smartest moves you can make in divorce are those you make before you file that petition…
Beyond Specific Legal Arguments, What Is One Significant Way the Court System Could Better Ensure Fairness for All Parents in Child Custody Disputes?
I apologize in advance; I cannot limit myself to just one answer, but I will start off with the “top” idea and then share others. Courts could make custody disputes…
Solar Panels in Divorce Property Sales…a Hot Mess
Guest blog post by Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert Joe Gordon As solar panels become commonplace in property sales, they’re also emerging as one of the messiest complications to navigate…
When “Different” Is Confused With “Dangerous” (or at Least Unfit)
A homeschooling mother loses custody because the judge disapproves of her "unstructured" educational approach—despite her children testing above grade level. A tattooed father faces restricted visitation because his appearance suggests…
Setting a Litigation Budget in Family Law Cases: An Idea Worth Developing
Setting a Litigation Budget in Family Law Cases: An Idea Worth Developing
Divorce lawyers have long grappled with one of the most disheartening realities of our practice: watching a marital estate, built over years, dissolve not into two separate households, but go…
In Utah divorce cases, an in-person appraisal is the gold standard for home valuation.
What Is the Home Worth in Your Divorce Case?
(Guest post by Broker and Divorce Real Estate Agent Joe Gordon) While popular and easily accessible, automated valuation models (AVMs)—tools like Zillow’s Zestimate, Redfin Estimate, and other algorithm-based home value…
Why Don’t My Kids Like Me After the Divorce? I’m Not a Bad Person. Not Even Close. I Haven’t Changed. What Could Have Happened?
One of the most painful parts of a divorce can be if children seem to pull away from you. It’s a situation many divorced and separated parents face: after a…
Should I Tell My Spouse Before I File for Divorce? Or Will That Put Me at a Disadvantage?
Telling your spouse you are considering divorce before filing can either open the door to a cooperative, low-drama split—or give them time to get the jump on you and hurt…
Should I Forgive My Spouse for Abusing Me and/or Our Children?
Forgiveness is a deeply personal decision, and in the context of abuse it can be a life-altering one. But understand that “forgiving” your spouse for abusing you or your children…
What Potential Issues and Problems Should I Anticipate and Take Action On Now as a Divorced Parent Whose Minor Children Will Be Going Back to School or Starting at a New School This Fall?
Don’t wait until the first day of school to address custody schedules, school choice, communication with the school, extracurricular costs, or special needs. Review your decree, coordinate with your ex…
My Spouse is Disparaging Me Publicly and/or to Our Children—What Can I Do? What Should I Do?
Divorce or custody litigation often brings out the worst in people. Some spouses can't resist the urge to play the victim or the hero in every story they tell, especially…