Why Mediation Often Fails (Even When Both People Want to Settle)
Mediation is supposed to be where divorce cases get resolved. And to be fair, a lot of them do. But a surprising number don’t. Not because one or both people…
It’s Not Group Therapy: Why “Trauma-Informed” and Other Therapeutic Fads Don’t Belong in Family Law Mediation
Too often (and increasingly as a means of mediators trying to differentiate themselves and offer “higher value propositions”), mediation it is oversold as something “deep” and “transformative”—but that is not…
How Well Divorce Mediation Works Depends on How Well You and Your Spouse Work Together
Don’t divorce lawyers make mediation harder and more expensive? I'm a divorce lawyer, and I'll be the first to admit it: sometimes lawyers can do more harm than good in the…
Making the Expedited Parent-time Enforcement Program Truly Expedited
Given that the 3rd District requires mediation under § 81-9-102(a). (Expedited Parent-time Enforcement Program (emphasis on “expedited”), before it will hear motions to enforce and for sanctions (MTEs) that allege court-ordered…
Miner v. Miner – 2025 UT App 64 – modifying alimony, attorney’s fees
Miner v. Miner - 2025 UT App 64 THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS LISA P. MINER, Appellee, v. JOHN E. MINER, Appellant. Opinion No. 20230278-CA Filed May 8, 2025 Fifth…
Shuttle Mediation: What It Is, and Why Most Divorcing Couples Should Avoid It in Favor of a Better Method
What is shuttle mediation (and yes, you’ll want to know before you go to mediation)? Shuttle mediation is a process where a mediator moves back and forth between two parties…
What Do I Do When I Realize My Divorce Attorney Betrayed Me and Helped My Ex-spouse, so That I Can Set Aside the Divorce Settlement Due to False Representations Made in Our Divorce Settlement Negotiations?
I will answer this in the context of the way this issue is treated in my jurisdiction (Utah). First, understand that to prevail on a claim in court, you must…
The Overreach of Utah Courts in Ordering Therapy in Divorce and Child Custody Cases
In contemporary Utah divorce and child custody disputes, courts frequently order parents and children to participate in reunification therapy, family systems therapy, or other forms of therapy and counseling. While…
What is Your Best Negotiating Trick?
Once I realized that “negotiating trick” is just a synonym for “manipulation,” at best and “fraud” at worst, I stopped employing such tricks in negotiations. You wouldn’t want to be…
What’s wrong with divorce mediation in Utah?
Much. And much that you can prevent, once you know what to avoid, what to do, and why. Profiteering mediators. It’s hard to find anyone selling goods or services these days…
Divorce Mediation – To Good to Be True (For Most People)
I know you want to believe that divorce mediation is the trick to a fast, easy, cheap, amicable divorce. I know you want to believe this, and we know why.…
As a Joint Legal and Physical Custodial Parent, Can I Legally Prevent the Other Parent From Going on a Vacation (Either Out of State or Out of the Country) With Our Child or Children?
Unless a court were to order that a parent was barred from traveling out of state or out of the country with the children on vacation, a joint legal and…
How Can Family Law Mediation Help You?
You can find tens of thousands—and I wouldn't be surprised if you could find millions—of articles about divorce and family law mediation and all of the benefits thereof. Just Google…
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 38: Arb-med, part II
By Quinton Lister, legal assistant Last week I wrote a post about Arb-med and how it can benefit practitioners of law, particularly family law. In this post I will be…
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 37: Arb-med
By Quinton Lister, legal assistant I have mentioned in previous posts that I am interested in the field of alternative dispute resolution, or “ADR”. What is ADR? Its any means…
How can I enforce my power when I have final say in joint custody?
My sons father and I have joint custody but I have final say over his well being health and education. How can I enforce my power? If you are asking: “How do I enforce in good…
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 18: Financial Declarations and Initial Disclosures
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 18: Financial Declarations and Initial Disclosures By Quinton Lister, legal assistant My minimal exposure to the legal profession as a legal…
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 13: Thoughts on ADR
By Quinton Lister, Legal Assistant Part of what has drawn me to my current position as a legal assistant to a divorce attorney is that I wanted to learn more…
How do I prepare for family court mediation?
How do I prepare for family court mediation? There appears to be a lot of confusion and fear surrounding the divorce mediation settlement conference. There shouldn’t be. The two main…
Why would a court/judge want the opposing parties to settle?
Why would a court/judge want the opposing parties to settle? Because if the parties settle, then the judge does not have to preside over a trial in the parties’ case.…
Do you need a reason to get a divorce?
Do you need a reason to get a divorce? Not really, at least not in the jurisdiction where I practice divorce law (Utah). Even if you get a “no fault”…
Married a short time. He demands discovery going back years. Can he?
Married a short time. He demands discovery going back years. Can he? Married 16 months. He became abusive almost immediately after. I filed for divorce. He and his attorney is…
Utah Divorce Case Timeline Summary
Utah Divorce Case Timeline Summary The greatest influence on how long a divorce case takes is usually how much and how severely the parties fight over the issues. The more…
Putting my money where my mouth is: I now offer half-day mediation services free of charge. No strings attached.
Putting my money where my mouth is: I now offer half-day mediation services free of charge. No strings attached. Divorce litigation almost always costs too much. Divorce mediation is now…
How can I turn arguments into negotiations and agreement?
How can I turn arguments into negotiations and agreement? If you could only read and apply one book on the subject, I would recommend “Start with No,” by Jim Camp.…
If we agree on child support and custody, can the judge reject our agreement?
If my husband and I agree on child support and custody in mediation, can the judge reject our agreement? Yes. A judge is not obligated to approve of and adopt…
Must I engage in all-day divorce mediation or some other time period?
Must I engage in all-day mediation in my divorce action, or for some other specific time period? No, there is no mandatory minimum period of time you must spend in…
How much does a collaborative divorce cost?
How much does a collaborative divorce cost? Too much, generally. Odds are that if you attempt to settle your divorce through what is called the “collaborative law” process your experience…
2019 UT App 207 – Peeples v. Peeples – modification of child custody
2019 UT App 207 - THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS ADAM LEGRANDE PEEPLES, Appellee, v. ANNALEISE T. PEEPLES, Appellant. Opinion No. 20180713-CA Filed December 19, 2019 Third District Court, Salt…
Why doesn’t family law immediately use collaborative law practices to reach decisions?
Because 1) paradoxically, those for whom the true collaborative law process would work best are those who really don’t need collaborative law; and 2) “collaborative law” as it is practiced (as opposed to how…
Good and Bad Advice About Preparing for Mediation
There's a lot of advice on how to prepare for and go to mediation successfully. But how good is the advice? Let's find out. Read this article about how to…
A real client’s questions about divorce settlement and mediation
Here is a real client’s questions about divorce settlement and mediation. Don't worry, I've removed the names and changed out the details to protect confidentiality. This client asked a lot…
Why can’t family law court mediators have their custody reports challenged?
Why can't family law court mediators have their custody reports challenged? In my jurisdiction (Utah), mediation is a completely confidential process. Mediators are statutorily barred from making a report to…
What is Divorce Mediation, and How Does It Work in Utah?
Mediation is an alternative to traditional courtroom litigation.[1] Mediation can provide (but does not guarantee) a quicker, and often less expensive resolution for your divorce case. During mediation, the parties…
A Spouse’s Questions about the Divorce Mediation Process
Questions: If we go to mediation, can I hire an attorney after to review the documents from mediation before I sign anything? What if I hire an attorney before we…
Look, I know you want to believe mediation is the magic pill for divorce but you’re missing a crucial point
Way too many mediators (whether of the collaborative stripe or other persuasion) insinuate that 1) divorce without mediation is doomed to anger and misery; and 2) merely engaging in mediation…
Can I Negotiate with My Spouse, If My Spouse Has a Lawyer?
Is there a legal remedy where an ex-husband and wife in the middle of a custody battle can speak freely and off the record through their lawyers without fear of…
How can I speak freely and off the record with my spouse without what’s I say being used against me?
QUESTION: Is there a legal remedy where an ex-husband and wife in the middle of a custody battle can speak freely and off the record through their lawyers without fear…
Am I required to hire a lawyer for divorce mediation?
Question: Can I hire an attorney after to review the documents from mediation before I sign anything? What if I hire an attorney before we meet mediation? Do I have…
Utah Divorce Timeline – Understanding How Long Divorce Can Takes in the Courts
The time frames described in this timeline set forth the general sequence of a simple and typical Utah divorce action that goes to trial. Unique and special circumstances, rules, or…
Selling Personal Service vs. Running “a Business”
Personal service is getting scarce. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Some services we're happy to accept from a machine: a quick car wash, the convenience of an ATM. But…
What to Do (not how to do it—that’s for a different article) Do to Negotiate Settlement in Divorce Successfully
The value of settlement comes in resolving the dispute faster and more inexpensively than the litigation route. In most (not all) cases, it is better to compromise than to win…
How to Represent Yourself or Make Limited Use of a Lawyer
Divorce can be, and for most people, usually is to one degree or another overwhelming, complicated, and expensive. Many people choose to hire an attorney to represent them in divorce…
Adultery and Divorce in Utah
Some might say that Utah is backwards, a little too old fashioned for these modern times. “After all,” some think, “as long as sexual intercourse occurs between two consenting adults,…
The Key To A Divorce Settlement You Can Live With
“The fairest rules are those to which everyone would agree if they did not know how much power they would have.” — John Rawls You being fair and honest in…
Why Not Create a Mediation Cooperative Among Utah Divorce Attorneys?
It would be a voluntary organization. Not everyone would need to join the cooperative, but those who do: Would have to have a minimum level of expertise, certain minimum qualifications,…
Mediation Can Be Great, Just Go in with Your Eyes Open
Note: I am not anti-mediation and I never have been. I am anti-mandatory mediation. And I object to flawed and fraudulent arguments in favor of mediation. Appeals to authority (“courts…
Divorce Mediation Needs to Up Its Game
At the outset, know this: I am not anti-mediation. I am a trained mediator. I earnestly participate in mediation conferences with my divorce clients. Notwithstanding, the mediation profession at large…
Mediation and Family Law – What You Need to Know
There is much to know regarding mediation and family law, not all of it pleasant. Now that mediation is entrenched in the practice of law (particularly in family law), everyone…