When “Playing It Safe” Hurts Utah Families
"Err on the side of caution" sounds sensible in divorce and child custody disputes. Who wants to be accused of taking chances with someone's safety? But before accepting that explanation,…
Utah Family Law Needs a Subtractive Audit
In 2021, researchers at the University of Virginia published a study in Nature built around a Lego structure (Adams, Converse, Hales, and Klotz). Participants had to stabilize a platform so…
In Utah Family Law, Delay Is Not Neutral
Family litigation takes time. Some delay is inevitable and some is justified. Judges have crowded calendars. Lawyers have conflicting trials. Discovery takes time. Serious child-safety allegations may require investigation before…
Let Two Fit Parents Share Equal Time. A Defiant Teenager Is the Best Reason Why.
"Mom, why are you only setting one place for dinner tonight?" "Because your dinner’s at Dad's house tonight. It's your night with him tonight, and I know he's got dinner…
The Arrest Is Not Really the Evidence: Probable Cause and Domestic Relations Cases
A parent tells the police that the other parent assaulted her. An officer responds, interviews people at the scene, and arrests the accused parent. Weeks later, the parties are in…
Child Parent-Time Refusal in Utah: How Courts Tell “Can’t” from “Won’t” (“I can’t make them” is where the inquiry starts)
"Why hasn't your son been to his father's home since March?" "He's sixteen. I can't make him." Sometimes that answer is true. Sometimes it's the end of a long, ugly…
Can You Ask the Court to Test the Custody Schedule You Are Proposing?
Suppose you are asking for joint or equal physical child custody. The other parent opposes it. Why not ask the court to put your proposed schedule into effect temporarily so…
The Answer to Too Much Psychology in Child Custody Disputes Is Not Reflexively More Psychology
Summary. Family law increasingly describes ordinary misconduct in clinical terms. Selfishness becomes narcissism, and disagreement becomes gaslighting. When amateur psychology complicates a child custody dispute, courts and lawyers often respond…
The First Draft Is the Fitting, Not the Finished Suit
Executive Summary: I draft legal documents the way a tailor fits a suit. I start with a proven structure, show the client an actual draft, and then adjust the approach,…
Who Gets the Benefit of the Doubt? What the Lindsay Clancy Case Can Teach Utah Family Courts
The Lindsay Clancy murder trial is about as far removed from an ordinary Utah divorce case as one can imagine. Clancy admitted killing her three young children in Massachusetts in…
When “Erring on the Side of Caution” Becomes a Substitute for Proof
There is a powerful argument for caution in family court, and it deserves to be taken seriously. When a judge or commissioner is confronted with an allegation that a parent…
If a PGAL Can Interview a Child, So Can a Judge or Commissioner
Utah Courts Should Stop Paying an Intermediary to Tell the Factfinder What the Factfinder Can Hear Directly When a child's wishes, concerns, experiences, or perceptions matter in a Utah child…
The “Noble Exit” Trap: How Moving Out Can Reshape a Child Custody Case Before It Begins
It often begins with a request that sounds perfectly reasonable. “We need some space.” “The fighting isn’t good for the kids.” “Why don’t you stay somewhere else for a while…
The Performative Care Trap: Why Family Court Is Addicted to Therapy
There is a ritual that plays out with remarkable regularity in Utah family court proceedings. A divorce becomes ugly. A parent is angry. A child is anxious. Communication deteriorates. Someone…
When “Special Training” Becomes a Credentialist Dodge
What “Special Training” Does a Judge Really Need to Talk to a Child? In Utah child custody disputes, one of the stock objections to having a judge interview a child…
Let the Judge Talk to the Child. Have the Judge Talk to the Child
One of the strangest objections to judges interviewing children in child custody disputes is that the interview might make the child anxious. Of course it might. The child’s parents are…
When (and Why) Cheap Therapy Culture Makes Family Law Worse
Mental-health awareness has helped people recognize genuine illness, obtain treatment, and speak about suffering without shame. That is real progress. But family law increasingly reveals the other side of the…
Public Comment on Proposed Utah Rule of Civil Procedure 110 — Judicial Interview of a Minor Child
Summary: 1. Proposed paragraph (b)(2) applies to judicial interviews substantially the same restrictive threshold the Legislature imposed on compelled child testimony. 2. Concerns about litigation abuse and judicial workload justify…
When a Label Changes the Past: Testing Memory Instead of Trusting It in Custody Disputes
Here is the objection this post is going to draw, so I deal with it directly instead of dodging it: raising questions about the reliability of memory sounds like it's…
Kids Don’t Belong in the Driver’s Seat: How Utah Custody Law Rewards Defiance and Calls It Protection
A fit parent is awarded equal custody of two teenagers. Nothing in the record suggests that parent is dangerous, neglectful, or unfit—the court has already said so. A few months…
Your Therapist May Need a Second Opinion Too
I recently encountered a Facebook Reel that is funnier—and probably truer—than many people will be comfortable admitting. Watch the original Reel here. The Reel’s creator identifies what she calls the…
When the Old Lame Excuses Fail, New Ones Will Be Invented
Judges in child custody disputes should hear from children more often. A lot more often. It should be routine, the presumptive course, the default. Not because children should decide custody…
“I’m Not Trained to Interview Children” and Other Empty Objections Behind Utah’s PGAL Default
At a recent hearing, a commissioner explained why she was appointing a private guardian ad litem instead of interviewing the child herself: "Given the age of the child, the statutory…
One Opinion, Seven Letterheads: The Family Court Echo Chamber
Christine Miller recently made a point about family court that deserves more attention: the appearance of independent professional agreement where no genuine independence exists. When a court appoints a private guardian…
The Weaponization of Victimhood: A Candid Look at the Inexcusable Bias in Family Courts
“A woman's greatest strength [in divorce court] is her ability to be a victim.” It’s a statement that immediately makes people boil over—either in furious agreement or absolute outrage. But…
When Family Courts Punish the Innocent Parent
Child Custody Defiance Should Not Cost a Fit Parent Both the Children and More Money Suppose a court orders equal custody. Both parents are fit. One parent is ready, willing,…
The Intersection of Federal Immigration Law and Utah Divorce
One of the most complex, high-stakes scenarios occurs when federal immigration policies collide head-on with state domestic relations law. Under the federal Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), a non-citizen spouse…
SB 304 Promised a Fix for Weaponized Protective Orders. Read the Statute
Anyone who practices Utah family law has watched it happen. A child custody dispute is going badly for one parent, or hasn't started yet, and a protective order petition appears.…
Protection Without Prejudice
A temporary protective order should do one thing well: protect against the danger actually alleged and shown by nothing less than a preponderance of the evidence. It should not become…
The Standard of Proof Is the Immune System of Family Law—and Courts Keep Suppressing It
This post is a companion to The Bloodletting of Family Law. That post diagnosed a system that mistakes itself for the cure. This one is about the cure the system…
The Bloodletting of Family Law: When the System Mistakes Itself for the Cure
For centuries, physicians bled their patients and called it medicine. The patients got weaker; the doctors, confident in their training, prescribed more bleeding. Medicine now has a name for harm…
Make Honesty the Selfish Move
Designing divorce and custody settlements that resist gaming Most child custody disputes — and most of the financial fights that ride alongside them — run on bad incentives. The system…
Guardian ad Litem in Utah: What a GAL or PGAL Is Supposed to Do—and What Usually Happens Instead
If you are in a child custody dispute and the court appoints a "guardian ad litem," it sounds reassuring. A lawyer appointed for the child? What could there be not…
When Courts Reward What They Could Stop the Result Are Always Tragic
I don’t have all the facts about this. None of us do at this point. And what facts we have may not even be fully “factual,” but we’ve seen this…
Arb-Med in Divorce: Why the First Reaction May Be Wrong
New ideas are rarely adopted by the average person first. That is a useful point Seth Godin recently made in his blog recently. When you ask ordinary people whether they like a…
When an “Absent” Parent Was Pushed Out
When a parent isn't active in a child's life, most people think they already know why. He must not care. She must have checked out. He must have wanted something…
Fear Wearing the Mask of Reason
On the surface, family court looks like a place of reason. There are statutes, rules of evidence, financial declarations, parenting plans, sworn testimony, judicial findings, and orders written in the…
Utah Child Custody and Long-Distance Relocation: “The 150 Miles or More Rule”Explained
Few child custody disputes create more uncertainty than relocation. A parent may wantto move for a new job, remarriage, school, lower housing costs, or to be closer to family.Those reasons…
The “Best Interests” Standard: Common Factors Judges Consider in Utah Child Custody and Parent-time Disputes
When parents separate or divorce, one of the most important questions is how custody of their children will be determined. Many parents enter the process believing the court will automatically…
The Answer to Commoditization Is Not Better Marketing. It’s Better Lawyering.
Many divorce and family lawyers want to earn more. Few ask what they must do differently to be worth more. Lawyers complain about being commoditized. They complain that clients shop…
Walking in Their Shoes: The Reciprocal Argument Rule in Family Law Litigation
Family court is not ordinary litigation. In a business dispute, the parties may fight hard, settle, and never see each other again. In divorce and child custody disputes, the parties…
No Remedy Without a Wrong: Why Family Courts Must Stop Rewarding Fabricated Grievances
There is a basic principle at the heart of equity: where there is a legal wrong, there should be a remedy. But the inverse matters just as much: where there…
Child Custody and Parent-time Awards Need to Incorporate More Humility
Many parents (I’d say even most parents) enter family court hoping someone will fix everything. Believing that: the judge will see through the lies. the custody evaluator will identify the…
Co-Parenting Apps: Useful Tool or Expensive Solution in Search of a Problem?
Parenting apps are now everywhere in modern child custody disputes. Lawyers recommend them. Parenting coordinators recommend them. Guardians ad litem recommend them. Courts sometimes order them. And the companies behind…
The Rule 702 Gap: Why Utah Custody Evaluations Need Real Evidentiary Scrutiny
In a Utah personal injury case, if a doctor testifies that a low-speed collision caused a traumatic brain injury, that opinion will usually face meaningful scrutiny under Rule 702 of…
Divorce Litigants Need (and Deserve) Basic Courtroom Education Before Evidentiary Hearings and Trial
Utah law already recognizes that divorce is a life-altering event. Under Utah Code § 81-4-105, parents must attend an orientation course because the state knows this process is emotionally volatile and…
Credibility Determinations Belong to Courts, Not Custody Evaluators
In a surprising number of child custody disputes, courts make major decisions based heavily on conversations nobody else gets to see or hear. A custody evaluator interviews the child privately.…
Why “Reasonable Parent-Time” Often Turns Into Unnecessary Conflict
ABSTRACT: Vague parenting plans built around “reasonable parent-time” often create more conflict, not less. When schedules, holidays, exchanges, and responsibilities are left undefined, parents frequently end up arguing about expectations…
Parens Patriae: Why the Court Gets Involved in Your Family
If you’re dealing with a divorce or a child custody dispute, there’s something you need to understand early: This is not just your case. That’s not rhetoric. It’s how the…
Can You Win Child Custody If Someone Else Is Raising Your Kids During the Week?
This question is more common than you might think. Some may be in this situation: “I want custody for stability.” “I need custody because it affects support.” “I’m the better…
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