Disparaging the Other Parent: what not to say
What are some examples of things you shouldn’t say if your custody order says not to disparage your ex to the kids’ medical providers? Look at it this way: if…
How did your parents’ divorce when you were a child affect your adult life?
My parents did not divorce, but I base my answer to this question on the experiences of my clients, whether it be how their own children reacted to their divorce…
Eberhard v. Eberhard – 2019 UT App 114 – modification of alimony
2019 UT App 114 THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS TODD EBERHARD, Appellant, v. LORI ANN EBERHARD, Appellee. Opinion No. 20170721-CA Filed June 27, 2019 Third District Court, Salt Lake Department…
My ex told me I can’t post videos of our children on my social media. What can I do?
I'm a mother of 3. The father has custody and I have visits and overnights. The father told me not to post videos of our children on my social media,…
Have you ever told a client he/she would be better off settling a case, only for the client to take the case to trial anyway?
Yes, and most of the time when a client decides to take a case to trial over a client’s advice the client does worse than he/she would have if he/she…
How to Identify a Good Divorce Lawyer, from the Client’s Perspective
Unfortunately, it’s almost impossible to identify a good lawyer without using his/her services for a while to see if you “got it right” on your choice. There are, however, a…
Do I need a separate room for my daughter?
As a single father I can only afford a one bedroom apartment for me and daughter, what alternatives do we have? Most courts will not penalize you for having a…
Dealing with Your Spouse During the Divorce Process
QUESTION: What are some pointers that you may have in getting along with your ex-spouse to be during the process of a divorce? What advice do you have to keep…
Mental Health Professionals: How to Make Good (and honest) Use of Them in Divorce and Child Custody
Many spouses and parents going through a divorce and child custody case may believe there is value in using mental health professionals. This can be true, if you use mental…
What are options for a parent who’s ex works the judicial system with the purpose of making the parent miserable?
What are options for a parent who’s ex works the judicial system with the purpose of making the parent miserable? Said parent is losing time with her child because her…
How can I prepare myself mentally for divorce?
I will answer your question based upon the presumption that you have already gone through the agonizing process of determining that you need to divorce. In other words, I will not treat…
Have we reached the point where mothers are not immediately deemed the best candidates for child custody?
Almost, but not yet. Until recently, it wasn’t just a cultural norm, but a legal principle that presumed during a child's "tender" years (generally regarded as the age of four…
Should you wait until your children have grown up before divorcing?
Should you wait until your children have grown up if you were contemplating divorce but are still amicable to one another? Yes, and God bless you if you have the will and…
Is it wrong to go through with divorce when my child wants to live with both mom and dad?
Is it wrong to go through with divorce when my child wants to live with both mom and dad? On that basis alone? No. For example, if you want to…
In your experience, how often do divorces get resolved “amicably” after being filed in court?
Some couples actually realize that while their marriage is a failure, that does not mean that they are bad people. They can care enough about each other to divorce amicably.…
As a man, what steps can I take to safeguard my interests before telling my wife I want a divorce?
As a man, what steps can I take to safeguard my interests before telling my wife I want a divorce? There are two types of men who ask this question:…
A list of common, but very good, Utah divorce questions (with answers)
ERIC, MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 20+ YEARS. WE HAVE 4 CHILDREN TOGETHER 3 OF WHOM ARE STILL MINOR CHILDREN. I WAS WONDERING IF YOU MIGHT BE…
Divorce Preparedness: What do I need to do before filing for divorce?
When deciding if you are going to file for divorce, there are some things you need to know, and many things you should consider, before filing for divorce I. Why…
Why do divorces take so long to finish?
Here are the reasons, as I see them, why too many divorce cases cost so much and take so long to finish (in no particular order): 1. Some divorce lawyers…
Why stay unhappily married for the sake of the kids?
Why do unhappy married couples stay together for the sake of the children, when they could easily give the children two happy homes instead living in one miserable home? Mom…
Is it unreasonable to insist Dad/Mom provide clothes for the kids at his/her place?
QUESTION: Is it unreasonable for me to assume my kids would have their own clothes at their dad's place? He has been requesting that I send specific items with the…
How Do I Get My Ex Prosecuted for Custodial Inteference?
QUESTION: What can I file in court for custodial interference? Is it just a matter of filing a motion for order to show cause? Or is there more to it?…
What is the average cost of divorce, when child custody is contested?
How much does it cost to divorce on average, with two kids and contested custody? On average? I’d say around $20,000, if the case is contested. But, as you will see…
Why are women generally awarded child custody more often than men?
QUESTION: From a lawyer’s perspective, why do women get child custody almost 90% of the time? Is there really a bias? What factors come into play when deciding about it?…
Confusing Want with Need – don’t expect what divorce cannot deliver
After more than 20 years doing this work: - I know what you want; - I know what you believe you want; and - we both know what you truly…
A Spouse’s Questions about the Divorce Mediation Process
Questions: If we go to mediation, can I hire an attorney after to review the documents from mediation before I sign anything? What if I hire an attorney before we…
Domestic Violence – what if I don’t want my spouse prosecuted?
Domestic Violence - what if I don't want my spouse prosecuted? Prosecutor issued an order of protection against my husband after asking what I want and I said no, it…
Divorce is on the horizon for my parents. What do I do?
Mom is treating Dad so bad that I think a divorce is on the horizon. Nobody is supportive. What do I do as a son? Love and support your parents,…
Child Custody and Where the Children Attend School
How is the school that a child will be attending decided if the parents are separated and live in two different school zones? Real-world, gritty answer that you may not…
Who gets the house, if one of us had an affair?
After 1.5 years trying to reconcile after my wife's 5 year affair, we are ending our 20-year marriage. Despite two teenage kids and her being a stay-at-home mom, she had…
Can I represent myself in a child custody dispute and win?
Can I represent myself in child custody matters of my own children and win? What you really mean is, “Can I represent myself in child custody matters of my own…
Sandusky v. Sandusky – 2018 UT App 34 (23-Feb-2018) – bifurcation, separation agreement, court discretion
2018 UT App 34 THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS KYLEE J. SANDUSKY, Appellee, GEORGE A. SANDUSKY, Appellant. Opinion No. 20160131-CA Filed February 23, 2018 Third District Court, Silver Summit Department…
What is the best way to get the courts to follow the laws already on books and the constitution for custody battles?
What is the best way to get the courts to follow the laws already on the books and the constitution for custody battles? To be frank, in my opinion there…
As a divorce lawyer, what is the most petty thing one of your clients had you do?
QUESTION: As a divorce lawyer, what is the most petty thing one of your clients had you do? ANSWER: Thanks for the question. The answer is: nothing. Legal whores do…
Why does the mom usually win custody of her kids in a divorce?
Why does the mom usually win custody of her kids in a divorce? Why are mother's awarded child custody so often? There is one main reason, and many ancillary reasons,…
Cool as a Cucumber: How to Testify Successfully at Your Deposition or in Court in a Domestic Relations Case
Cool as a Cucumber[1]: HOW TO TESTIFY SUCCESSFULLY AT YOUR DEPOSITION OR IN COURT IN A DOMESTIC RELATIONS CASE [1] This phrase (c. 1732) derives from ancient folk knowledge confirmed by…
Look, I know you want to believe mediation is the magic pill for divorce but you’re missing a crucial point
Way too many mediators (whether of the collaborative stripe or other persuasion) insinuate that 1) divorce without mediation is doomed to anger and misery; and 2) merely engaging in mediation…
What if two divorced parents have joint legal custody, but one parent has physical custody of the children more than 50% of the time?
Question: What if two divorced parents have joint legal custody, but one parent has physical custody of the children more than 50% of the time? What effect can this have…
My ex just announced he’s taking the children during my parent-time.
QUESTION: I have a question about parent-time inference. My ex-husband is taking the children out of town last minute and his plans overlap and will interfere with my holiday parent-time.…
4 Reasons Divorce Makes Good People Act Like Total Jerks
4 Reasons Divorce Makes Good People Act Like Total Jerks Don't let the it get the best of you! Why is it that people who seemed to be fairly rational…
What if my spouse won’t complete the divorce orientation and education courses?
What if my spouse will not complete the divorce orientation and education courses for parents? Can the judge still grant the divorce? Yes. You can file a motion notifying the…
Can a Child Be Held in Contempt of Court for Non-compliance with Child Custody and Parent-time Orders?
A minor child of divorced parents need not be a party to the divorce action to be subject to the court’s contempt power. See Crank v. Utah Judicial Council, 20…
Does child support still continue while child is in college?
QUESTION: I was wondering if a child goes to college but still lives with a parent, does child support still continue while child is in college? ANSWER: The Utah Code…
Defending Yourself Against a Protective Order
My friend is a good man. His wife is crazy. She put a protection order against him, to help manipulate the court proceedings. What should he do? Defend himself with…
Rule v. Rule – 2017 UT App 137 (August 3, 2017) – alimony – standard of living
Rule v. Rule - 2017 UT App 137 (August 3, 2017) – alimony – standard of living THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS GEOFFREY S. RULE, Appellee, v. RICHELLE RULE, Appellant.…
MacDonald v. MacDonald, 2017 UT App 136 (August 3, 2017) – modification of alimony – unforeseeable circumstances
MacDonald v. MacDonald, 2017 UT App 136 (August 3, 2017) THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS KIRKPATRICK MACDONALD, Appellant, v. LEE ANNE MACDONALD, Appellee. Opinion No. 20150785-CA Filed August 3, 2017…
Can a 16 year old sleep with a 10 year old?
Can a 16 year old sleep with a 10 year old? If by your question you mean to ask, "Can a 16-year-old child sleep in the same bed with a…
Spousal (and Ex-Spousal) Spying – You Can Go to Prison, If You Do It Wrong
Have you ever thought about “bugging” your children’s teddy bear or diaper bag to eavesdrop on your ex? A parent in Utah tried this exact thing (spoiler alert: it didn’t…
What are my chances of getting 50/50 custody of my child in court, if the other parent refuses to give me more time?
What are my chances of getting 50/50 custody of my child in court, if the other parent refuses to give me more time? If I'm an air traffic controller and…
What are the biases shown in family law?
What are the biases shown in family law? Every human bias imaginable can affect a family law case, but the ones that I find most common and most troubling are…