False allegations of abuse—whether physical, emotional, or “stalking”—are among the most destructive things that can happen to a parent in a custody dispute. Once the words “abuse” and/or stalking is/are spoken, even without evidence, it can stain your reputation, upend your relationship with your children, and give the other parent ill-gotten leverage in court. If you’re a decent parent who’s been accused falsely, you can’t rely on “my word against my spouse’s.” You need verifiable proof.
The simplest, safest way to protect yourself during custody or parent-time exchanges and other interactions with your ex, with law enforcement, etc. is to unobtrusively record what happens. Not in secret to trap anyone, but as a form of insurance against lies.
The law: you can record what you’re part of
Utah is a one-party consent state, meaning you can legally audio-record any conversation or interaction if you are one of the participants. You do not need the other person’s permission. (See Utah Code §77-23a-4)
Put simply: if you’re present and part of the exchange, you can lawfully record it. What you can’t do is hide a recorder in someone else’s house or car when you’re not there. So long as you’re personally there, your recording is lawful.
Why dashcams and body-worn recorders work best
Most custody exchanges happen in predictable places: curbside, a driveway, a school, a restaurant, or in some cases, a police station parking lot. That’s exactly where simple technology works best.
A good, 360-dgree dashcam mounted on your car’s dashboard can capture both sound and video automatically. When the other parent approaches your car or drops the child off, you have a time-stamped, high-definition sound-and-visual record of what actually happened.
A wearable, plainly visible, video camera and sound recording device (a shirt or lapel clip type) adds another layer of protection. You don’t have to announce you’re recording. The point isn’t to provoke or intimidate anyone; it’s to ensure you can prove what really happened if you’re accused later of yelling, threatening, or stalking.
Smartphones aren’t wearables. Using your smartphone to record custody exchanges seems convenient (“after all, I’ve already got one”), and in the absence of a wearable camera, it’s better—far better—than nothing. But it’s not the best practice. But they look confrontational, tie up your hands, and can interrupt the recording if you get or need to make a call. A small wearable recorder works automatically, unobtrusively, and keeps you focused on your kids instead of fumbling with a phone.
A small wearable recorder captures clear audio and video unobtrusively—no fumbling, no one-handed limitations, no arguments about provoking others by filming them. It lets you focus on your kids and your composure while quietly protecting yourself with a clean, continuous record of what actually happened.
Don’t hide your camera—just don’t make an ass of yourself using it. Secretly recording (even in public) makes the recorder look and feel like he/she is doing something sneaky, creepy, or deceptive. A small, visible camera clipped to your shirt or jacket is enough to make clear you’re being transparent without inviting confrontation.
Hidden recording risks criminal charges and civil lawsuits for invasion of privacy, harassment, stalking, or entrapment. It can violate Utah’s privacy and voyeurism laws, even if you’re part of the conversation, if it takes place in a setting where the other person reasonably expects privacy.
If the other parent notices your device in plain sight, a calm “I record all exchanges to avoid misunderstandings” is more than sufficient. Stating, “I’ve got it all on video!” as you are recording is unnecessary and doesn’t help your cause. Open, matter-of-fact use shows you’re considerate, confident, careful, have nothing to hide, yet you will not fall prey to being falsely accused.
How to record unobtrusively and responsibly:
- Record in public areas and where there is no expectation of privacy, and be a part of the conversation. Record only in places where anyone could reasonably see or hear what’s happening—like sidewalks, parking lots, or building entrances. Avoid hidden or private spaces, and make sure you’re actually part of the exchange you’re recording. That keeps you within Utah’s one-party consent law and away from “hidden camera” trouble.
- Stay calm and act normally. Don’t use the camera as a weapon or prop. By staying calm and acting as you normally would, the more credible the evidence, and the stronger your position is if the footage is ever reviewed.
- Record continuously during the exchange. Don’t fumble with the device or turn it on and off mid-interaction—that looks manipulative. Turn on the camera few minutes before you arrive to provide the “establishing shot” and to ensure the camera is operating.
- Don’t share or post the footage. Recordings are for your protection and for use in litigation, not for disparaging or humiliating your ex on social media.
- Keep backups. Store copies securely (cloud or external drive). If an accusation arises, your lawyer can produce the footage as needed.
What recordings can and can’t do
A recording won’t automatically make the court believe you. But it can make a huge difference:
- It prevents false “he said/she said” claims.
- It discourages the other parent from provoking you, knowing you’re likely recording.
- It can be introduced as evidence if you’re accused of abuse, harassment, or stalking.
If you’re caught behaving badly on video, the footage will be evidence against you. Think of the camera as a silent, neutral witness: such a witness protects the parent who stays calm and courteous and who is honest.
Don’t advertise it, don’t misuse it, and don’t give anyone reason to say you’re filming to intimidate. You’re simply documenting reality.
Recording is worth the minimal amount of money and effort because it’s a lot less costly than going without it
If you’re being falsely accused, the evidence in your defense is priceless. A $100 dashcam and a discreet wearable recorder are far less costly than a custody evaluation, expert witness, and/or a lawyer.
In Utah, the law allows you to protect yourself with this kind of evidence. Exercise that right, and exercise it wisely. A clear, continuous record is your best protection against lies. Lawful documentation of your good behavior beats “my word against yours” every time.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277