What has a lawyer said that made you question their expertise?
What’s one thing you’ve heard a lawyer say that made you question their expertise? I was in court for a hearing in a divorce action where opposing counsel objected to…
What is it like to battle for custody with a narcissist?
Miserable. Narcissists know how to game the system, to exploit its weaknesses, to exploit all that is good in human nature and institutions for destructive ends. It’s virtually impossible to prove that a narcissist is engaging in such misconduct because one of the things that makes a narcissist a narcissist, and so maddeningly effective…
What is a costly part of divorce that almost no one thinks of ahead of time?
Every aspect of divorce. Every single one. Two cannot live separately and divorced for less than they did together. Litigation is mind-bogglingly expensive and protracted. Even an uncontested divorce can…
How do I find out what my divorce case number was, if I’ve forgotten it?
It’s easy if you know what you’re doing. And if you don’t know what you’re doing, it’s easy to find someone who does know what to do. In many jurisdictions,…
Does greed also have a role in most divorce cases?
In my experience, yes, in most cases. Not all cases, but most cases. And there are varying degrees of greed reflected in the way people approach their divorce cases. Some…
How do you go about getting a copy of your divorce papers?
If you have a lawyer: your lawyer can and should give you a copy. If you don’t have a lawyer: go to the courthouse (if the courthouse is open and allowing members…
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 20: Lawyers
By Quinton Lister, legal assistant My boss at the law firm where I work (Utah Family Law, LC) has informed me more than once that, “divorce lawyers are, with few exceptions, terrible people”. I am…
Christmas/Winter Break for Parents Under the Utah Code
Christmas/Winter Break for Parents Under Utah Code § 30-3-35 or (§ 30-3-35.5 for a child 18 months and older) If your Christmas/Winter break starts December 17, 2021 and ends January…
Is the divorce rate rising during the COVID-19 pandemic?
I’ve been a divorce attorney for 25 years, and I don’t see any difference in the divorce rate between the pre-and post-COVID-19 eras. That’s not a scientific study, just anecdotal…
Have you, or someone you know, ever had to share joint custody of a pet due to a breakup/divorce? If so, how did that work out? Was the time actually 50/50?
Many married couples are now foregoing having children but still feel a need for caring for something other than themselves individually and for each other, and so they get a…
Parental alienation
I just read the following comment made by a viewer of my UFLTV parental alienation interview with Kelly Peterson. This viewer wrote, “So basically, parental alienation is proved by documenting the instances…
How do I best explain to my daughters that I am divorcing their stepmom?
What is the best way for me to explain to my 3 daughters that the reason in which I am divorcing their Assistant Prosecutor stepmother is because I wouldn’t let…
How do I get custody back of my child if the custodial parent is not keeping the child safe?
The best way to phrase this question is as follows, “How do I get an order awarding custody of our child to me, if I assert as the basis for…
If two unwed people have a child and split up, is it treated like a divorce?
If two people have a child out of wedlock, and they split up, is it treated like a divorce? I will answer this question for the jurisdiction of Utah. The…
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 17: Fairness
By Quinton Lister, legal assistant Before I started working as a legal assistant I was a philosophy major at BYU. During that time I read a portion of John Rawls treatise on justice. Mr. Rawls…
What is the first step if you get served with papers for divorce?
Rip off that band-aid and go see a lawyer immediately. Not “as soon as possible,” right now. Now. Without delay. Without any delay. Yes, I know you don’t trust lawyers. I know…
How to Avoid Hiring the Wrong Divorce Lawyer
So you've paid your divorce attorney $10,000 or so, it's been 6 months, and essentially nothing's getting done. What went wrong? It could be many things. If you have a…
The Protective Order Deception
We all know that a protective order provides little to no substantive protection for the purported victim. The joke around the legal profession is that when a bullet, blade, bat, or fist is headed your…
If a married couple divorces and neither one wants their child, what happens?
Great question. I have discussed this question with others. Their first reaction to the question is along the lines of “Oh, that’s terrible!,” but then we discuss the fact that…
Why isn’t there a child support debit card, so the funds can be tracked and itemized to prevent mismanagement?
In Utah, such a thing can be done, but I have never, in 24 years of practice, seen it ordered or agreed to (I’ve heard rumors that some parents have…
How Courts Can (and often do) Ensure There’s No Proof Joint Equal Custody Can Work
Here is an example of an important gotcha factor to be on guard against, if you are a good father being forced by the legal system to fight for joint…
I’m a child whose parents are divorcing and fighting over custody. What can I do?
I’m 15, about to be 16, and my parents are getting a divorce. My father has full custody, but he doesn't want to take me to court to present my…
When a restraining order expires, is there some documentation that the respondent can get to prove the expiration?
In Utah, the answer to your question would be: Yes, in the form of the restraining order itself. The restraining order itself states that “[t]he order shall expire by its…
Why is disciplining a child a sign of parental alienation in the long-term?
This is an example of a logical fallacy; specifically, begging the question. It assumes the conclusion in the premise It is not a given that disciplining a child is a…
In Utah is there a minimum age at which minor children can be left at home or allowed to walk to school by themselves?
No. There is no minimum age at which child can be left unsupervised in Utah. Child and Family Services uses the following definition to evaluate each situation: Non-Supervision – The…
McQuarrie v. McQuarrie – 2021 UT 22 – termination of continuation of alimony
MCQUARRIE v. MCQUARRIE - 2021 UT 22 In the Supreme Court of Utah. Melvin C. MCQUARRIE, Appellant, v. Janette Colledge MCQUARRIE aka Janette Kendall, Appellee. No. 20190902-SC Heard March 5,…
What is one thing you wish you would have added in your divorce parenting plan?
Here are some provisions that I have seen divorce litigants who did not include them in their divorce settlement agreements wish were included: a “loser pays” clause for 1) when…
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 12: Perfection
By Quinton Lister, Legal Assistant It doesn’t take a lawyer to discover, and it doesn’t take long to realize, that the legal profession is by no means perfect. The legal system…
If the father got the child custody, will the mom pay for child support?
In Utah, the answer is: it’s likely that Mom will pay child support to Dad. Generally, unless the primary joint custodial parents makes orders of magnitude more than the other…
Can a narcissist get custody of a child?
Of course. First, even if one could prove a parent suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), merely suffering from this condition wouldn’t automatically disqualify a parent from being awarded sole…
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 11: Something for nothing?
By Quinton Lister, Legal Assistant Giving without expectation is one of the hardest things to do in this life. I often wonder in our capitalistic society why it is so…
What happens to a child support order if both parents move out of the country?
Unless the child support order provides for a change in the child support obligation or benefit in the event and due to the parents moving out of the country, then…
How can I get an emergency hearing for custody and child support?
I will answer this question based upon the law of the jurisdiction where I practice family law (Utah). So the question is: How can I get an emergency hearing for…
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 10: Divorce
By Quinton Lister, Legal Assistant I think most of the observations I am having as a new legal assistant are not groundbreaking, but my boss and I are learning that…
How does divorce and child abuse affect SAT scores?
SAT scores? Come on, that’s getting too granular. Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277 https://www.quora.com/How-does-divorce-and-child-abuse-affect-SAT-scores
How do I best grab the attention of an attorney regarding a child custody case that is unusual, difficult, and I need help?
With money. And enough money to prove you can afford to pay the attorney to do the job well. Enough money to make the job worthwhile for the lawyer. That’s…
Would you support changing the law in each and every single U.S. state to make it crystal-clear that people have an unlimited insurable interest in their own child support obligations as well as in their family members’ child support obligations?
No. I do support that idea that one’s own child support entitlement should be an insurable interest in the amount of the entitlement itself (meaning that if you are the…
What is the best and fastest way to switch judges in a family court?
I will answer this question as it applies in my jurisdiction (Utah). First, no one has a right simply to choose your judge or choose to change the judge assigned to…
How do I prepare for family court mediation?
How do I prepare for family court mediation? There appears to be a lot of confusion and fear surrounding the divorce mediation settlement conference. There shouldn’t be. The two main…
Can an unemployed alienated parent be forced to help pay for a car for the child?
First, unless there is a statute or court order that requires a parent to purchase a car for a child, or that requires both parents to share the costs of…
Are mothers being treated “worse” by the legal system these days, with more and more states leaning toward awarding joint custody to fathers more and more?
No, mothers are not being treated "worse" by the legal system these days, with more and more states leaning toward awarding joint custody to fathers more. Mothers do not have…
What questions do people ask about divorce?
The FIRST questions most frequently asked of me are: “How much can I expect it to cost me in total to get a divorce?” “What is your hourly rate?” “What…
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 8: Legality vs. Morality
By Quinton Lister, Legal Assistant Since I have started working as a legal assistant, I have come to realize more the nuances of legality vs. morality. For the purposes of…
Why is child support still garnishing my friend’s wages and her children are back in her custody?
There could be at least two possible reasons. 1. Even though the child is living with you, if the court and/or the child support collection agency has not been made…
How do you stay strong while being alienated from your child?
Any way that works for you (without running afoul of God or the law of the land, of course). Parental alienation is one of the most gut-wrenching miseries one can…
Can you seek a temporary custody award if you have an apartment but you’re not on the lease, but your fiancé is on the lease and also the child does have their own room?
I get this question frequently. The answer: Sure, you can ask (you can always merely ask) the court to award you temporary custody of the child(ren) under such circumstances, but…
Is filing for divorce altogether worth it despite the high cost and heavy emotional toll?
There are clearly circumstances that not only justify but may even necessitate a divorce. No one is bound to remain married too someone who threatens one’s life or physical safety with a…
Why do I pay the child support knowing my kids are living in other countries?
Child support is for the financial support of your children, not a fee (or “ransom”) you pay to keep the children near you. Regardless of where your children live, they…
How do I expose a narcissist in family court?
Pretty much impossible. Why? Two big reasons, generally: Narcissists are masters of deception. Being a narcissist generally not terribly relevant, if relevant at all, to most issues in a divorce…
Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 7: You got to be tough
By Quinton Lister, Legal Assistant The practice of family law takes a thick skin. I haven’t been at the job long (and I’m just a legal assistant), but it’s obvious that you got to be tough to do…
