After 28 years of divorce practice (as of the date this post is shared), I’ve watched countless cases that could have and should resolve in months drag on for a year or more, draining families financially and emotionally. The question isn’t whether your divorce will be delayed. The better questions are why it will be delayed, how many different ways it will be delayed, and what you can do about it.
Some divorce delays are unavoidable. They persist because they serve someone’s interests, just not yours. Many delays, however, are preventable or can be shortened if you know what to do.
The Culprits Behind Excessive Divorce Costs and Delays
Court System Failures
Courts are chronically underfunded and understaffed. The judges and domestic relations commissioners carry heavy caseloads, creating scheduling bottlenecks that cause simple hearings that should be heard in a matter of weeks to be pushed months into the future. Even after a hearing, the rules of Utah courts give the judge up to 60 days after the hearing to issue a ruling.
Family court operates on an adversarial model designed for criminal cases and commercial disputes, not the dissolution of intimate relationships. This system assumes two parties with completely opposing interests, when divorcing couples often share common goals, such as protecting their children and moving forward with their lives.
Mandatory mediation programs, while well-intentioned, often add another layer of delay when a party refuses to schedule mediation with anyone other than the mediator who is not available until 2 or three (or even more) months down the road.
The adversarial approach escalates conflict by design. Every interaction becomes a battle, every conversation runs through attorneys, and every decision requires formal legal process. What could be resolved through reasoned negotiation instead consumes months of legal maneuvering.
Attorney-Driven Costs and Delays
Some attorneys are self-dealers, viewing clients primarily through the lens of how much money they can extract from them. Those kinds of attorneys are financially incentivized to prolong cases. The longer the case drags on, the more they bill. This leads, for example, to what should be straightforward property divisions turning into scorched-earth campaigns, with motion after motion filed, hearing after hearing held, needless depositions and discovery conducted, manufacturing complexity where none exists.
Some attorneys are simply unprepared or disorganized. They miss deadlines, fail to serve or to respond to discovery requests promptly, and repeatedly reschedule depositions.
And some attorneys use delay as a tactical weapon, hoping the other side will capitulate from exhaustion or run out of money.
The billable hour model also creates perverse incentives. An attorney who settles your case quickly earns less than one who drags it out. This doesn’t mean all attorneys are unethical, but such a system rewards inefficiency.
Client-Created Costs and Delays
Clients often become their own worst enemies. Emotional decision-making leads to fighting over items worth less than the attorney fees to argue about them. I had a complete divorce settlement break down over one collectible Barbie doll worth $500. Now I know the doll wasn’t the real issue; it represented something deeper, but therein lies the problem: divorce court is not a forum for “getting even” with a spouse who made them miserable for years or even decades. The role of the court is limited: dissolve the marriage, divide the assets and apportion responsibility for marital debts, and determine whether and how much alimony is to be awarded. If there are minor children involved, the court must determine what the child custody and support awards are. Divorce courts do not issue punitive orders or money awards.
Many clients resist reasonable settlement offers, convinced they’ll get a better deal if they “fight harder” or because they believe “the court can’t help but side with me.” Some clients waste time and money by changing attorneys mid-case, requiring the new lawyer to start from scratch and to bill accordingly.
Incomplete financial and other disclosures are another major culprit. Clients who hide assets, fail to provide requested documents, or give conflicting information create delays that could be avoided with honesty and organization from the start.
How to Avoid the Delay Trap
Choose Your Attorney Carefully
A good attorney can save you money in the long run. Look for attorneys who charge flat fees for straightforward cases or who know how to resolve matters efficiently. Ask directly, “How do you prevent unnecessary delays?,” and then follow your attorney’s advice.
Avoid attorneys who immediately start talking about “taking them to the cleaners” or who seem eager for a fight (even if you think that’s what you want, few do). Look for someone who discusses and looks for realistic settlement options early in the conversation.
Be Organized and Honest from Day One
Gather all financial documents before you even meet with an attorney: tax returns, bank and other financial account statements, retirement account statements, investment records, debt information. Have it all ready. Incomplete information creates delays and additional costs. And be completely honest with your attorney about assets, debts, and any complications in your case. Surprises discovered later will cost you time and money.
Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations
Tell your attorney you want to resolve matters efficiently and ask for a timeline with specific deadlines. Request that your attorney notify you and review the matter with you before any motions are filed or any other actions taken.
Consider what issues are truly worth fighting (and spending money) over. The principle may matter to you, but is it worth thousands of dollars and months of delay?
Explore Alternatives to Traditional Litigation
Mediation, arbitration, and collaborative divorce can (I emphasize “can”) resolve cases faster and cheaper than court litigation, if engaged in good faith and if you and your spouse will focus on problem-solving rather than position-taking.
Remember also that many cases can be resolved through direct negotiation between attorneys without ever seeing the inside of a courtroom or without having to meet with a mediator. Ask your attorney if she or she is willing to try to work things out with opposing counsel. Most attorneys won’t (especially young attorneys), believe it or not.
Keep Your Eye on the Goal
Remember that divorce is a legal process to dissolve a marriage, not therapy or vindication. The goal is to resolve financial and child custody matters fairly and move forward with your life. The longer your case drags on, the more it costs, not just financially, but emotionally. Every month spent fighting is a month you’re not building your new life. Your future self will thank you for choosing sound judgment over emotional satisfaction.
Divorce need not be a war of attrition. Most cases can be resolved efficiently if clients are organized, attorneys are ethical, and everyone focuses on a fair and reasonable outcome.
You can’t control the court system, your spouse, or opposing counsel, but you have control over your choices (including your choice of attorney), your plans, your approach to the process as it unfolds, and your own behavior. Making choices based on a fair and equitable resolution also tends to be the most effective and efficient.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277