If you’re feeling like you can’t go on with your divorce case, know that you’re not alone in feeling that way. And you’re not weak for feeling overwhelmed.
Take a pause. Take stock
Divorce is one of the most emotionally and financially demanding experiences a person can face. It’s not unusual to feel exhausted, discouraged, or even hopeless at certain points along the way. But before you make any major decisions, stop a moment to reflect: Are you truly ready to walk away from the process, or are you just worn down by everything you’re going through right now? Those two states can feel nearly identical when emotions are running high. But they are very different.
If you’ve reached the point where you are in a realistic frame of mind (and that this isn’t just a moment of fatigue or frustration) and then sincerely believe you cannot continue, then it is possible to end the case quickly by settling on your spouse’s terms. But understand what that means: your settlement will only be as fair or generous as your spouse is willing to make it. And if your divorce has been high-conflict, that may mean walking away with very little, or worse. For some, that tradeoff—peace now in exchange at the cost of long-term detriment—somehow feels worth it. Just make sure that if you choose that path, it’s an intentional and informed decision, not a hasty surrender to momentary despair.
But if you realize that what you’re experiencing is frustration, grief, or burnout and not a true desire to quit, then give yourself some space to decompress. You may have acted on emotion. Maybe you fired your attorney in anger, or lashed out at your spouse. If so, that doesn’t make you or your case a lost cause. You’re only human.
Now do what you can to repair the damage: reach out to your attorney, apologize if necessary, and try to reestablish trust. If you’ve said or done something you’ll need to account for in your case, be honest and take responsibility. Courts—and people—tend to respect that (it’s better than stubbornly or pridefully doubling down on being unrepentant). Dramatic displays make for good TV but don’t help in a real court of law.
Above all, recognize that emotional volatility, while understandable, can have real and lasting consequences in the legal process. You deserve better than to sabotage your own case out of temporary frustration or exhaustion. So do your children, your support system, and your future.
We all have different breaking points, but we all hit them eventually. What matters is what we do when we get there. If you still have the strength to keep going—even if it doesn’t feel like much—be honest with your lawyer and with yourself. You don’t need to be dramatic. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be steady enough to see this through.Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277
