Some spouses will absolutely exploit the legal system to gain an unfair advantage in divorce proceedings.
It’s crucial to recognize the manipulative tactics your spouse might employ against you—even if you think “my spouse would never do that.” When marriages break down, people often behave in ways you’d never expect. Prepare accordingly. Here are some of the most common dirty tricks you need to watch for:
- False Allegations of Abuse
This is number one for a reason. Fabricating abuse claims creates immediate advantage with minimal risk to the accuser. The math is simple: low burden of proof + low risk if caught lying + devastating consequences = powerful weapon.
Real-world scenario: John, a devoted father of two young children, finds himself served with a protective order based on allegations made by his wife, Jane, during their divorce. Despite no history of abuse and no evidence other than Jane’s word against John’s, the court “errs on the side of caution” and issues a “temporary” protective order. Result? John is suddenly cut off from his children and treated as guilty throughout the proceedings. That “temporary” order creates a presumption of danger that follows him through the entire case, affecting not just custody rulings but poisoning the opinion of the court against John when it comes to property division and financial matters as well.
Why this dirty trick works: Courts are extremely risk-averse when abuse allegations arise. No judge wants his or her name in the news as the one who denied a protective order before something terrible happened. Many unscrupulous spouses and their attorneys exploit this institutional fear.
Prevention/protection: Fight false claims immediately and vigilantly. Don’t expect the court to presume your innocence or hold your accuser to the applicable burden of proof—that’s rarely how family court works. Secure competent counsel who understands how to dismantle false allegations with evidence and sound argument. Document everything you can to support your defense. Maintain absolute composure in court and during all interactions—emotional outbursts only reinforce false narratives about you.
- Financial Deception
It’s the norm for spouses to suddenly “lose” income, “discover” debts, reveal heretofore unknown expensive “needs” or “habits” or develop convenient “business problems” right as divorce proceedings begin.
Prevention/protection: Start gathering financial documentation now. Look for:
- Unexplained cash withdrawals
- Newly accounts and newly opened closed accounts
- Transfers to friends and family members
- Sudden business “losses” or “investments”
- Delayed bonuses or commissions
- Unusual purchases that could be converted to cash later
For high-asset cases, you may find it wise to invest in a forensic accountant.
- Manipulating Custody Evaluations
Custody evaluations, as they conducted generally in Utah, are frequently flawed and shockingly manipulable. Many evaluators use questionable methodologies and subjective assessments that skilled manipulators can exploit.
Protection strategy: Don’t trust the evaluator to be impartial. Comprehensively document your history of your parental involvement and parental fitness. Keep records of and find witnesses who can testify of your:
- school and other educational involvement
- setting and attending child health care appointments
- your support of and involvement in the children’s extracurricular activities
- your day-to-day care responsibilities and capacities
- your co-parenting skill
When the custody evaluation occurs, be honest and prepared. Don’t assume the evaluator will automatically recognize parental alienation or manipulation by your spouse. If an adverse evaluation is due to the evaluator being biased and/or incompetent, don’t hesitate to challenge the flaws. Custody evaluations are ludicrously subjective and pseudo-scientific. Many evaluators’ bias is obvious, and many evaluator’s rely on methods that do not stand up to serious scientific scrutiny.
Divorce can bring out behaviors you never imagined possible from your spouse. The person who’s now seeking a divorce now may not be the same person you married. Protect yourself accordingly.
Educating yourself about dirty tricks in divorce is invaluable. Ignore at your and your children’s peril. Dirty tricks complicate an already emotionally taxing and overall difficult process. By identifying and understanding the array of dirty tricks at one’s disposal, you can better prevent them, protect yourself from them, and defend yourself against them.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277
