Therapy in the context of this post means “mental health therapy”; meeting with a licensed talking with a psychologist, psychiatrist, or another mental health provider. This kind of therapy is often a helpful tool in connection with a divorce.
Consider the factors that determine whether therapy would be a benefit to you and your family if and when divorce rears its ugly head:
Is therapy necessary?
For many people, therapy isn’t just about “fixing” their emotions during the divorce, but also about rebuilding and preparing for life after the process is complete. Whether you need help processing feelings of loss, fear, and anger, or want to ensure you’re emotionally prepared to enter the next chapter of your life, good therapy can help many make the transition in a mature and healthful way.
Therapy is not mandated before, during the pendency of, or at the conclusion of a divorce case in Utah. Courts can and often will order therapy in particularly dysfunctional situations, but therapy is not required of everyone going through a divorce in Utah.
Still, voluntarily engaging in therapy can be beneficial—in some situations highly beneficial—in helping you and/or your family members navigate and cope with the process. Therapy can provide much needed or wanted help when going through the divorce process, if one is willing to assess oneself and do the work effective therapy requires.
But remember: not everyone going through divorce needs therapy. Some may not even find therapy helpful. For them, therapy would be a waste of time and money. If exercise or hobbies or service to others or prayer or spending time with friends and loved ones is the cure for what ails ya, don’t feel like there is something wrong with you just because you aren’t the therapy type. Not everyone is.
In some cases, the courts may overstep and recommend therapy as a condition of divorce or custody arrangements, especially if there are concerns about the children’s emotional well-being as a way to err on the side of caution. Utah courts have a tendency to mandate therapy as a panacea to the troubles that come with divorce and family law. Don’t be afraid to push back when a court appears inclined to order parents and/or children into therapy “just to be safe,” or “because it couldn’t hurt, eh?” Unneeded, unwarranted therapy is no different than any other unneeded, unwarranted thing: it’s a waste of your time, your money, and your effort. Worse, unneeded, unwarranted therapy could make things worse than in the absence of it.
Emotional strain of divorce
Therapy can be a safe, confidential space to process these feelings without the fear of judgment from your community or family. It can also help you break free from external pressures and focus on your mental and emotional health. Professional counseling helps you understand your emotions and equips you with tools to cope with the personal toll of divorce.
Divorce laws in Utah include waiting periods, required mediation, and in some cases, extensive financial and property division. Therapy can help you stay grounded throughout this process. Therapy won’t take the legal burden off your shoulders, but it can provide the emotional support needed to ensure you make the best, clear-headed choices for your future free of confusing and distracting emotions that might otherwise cloud your judgment.
Support for parents, whether individually or collectively
If you have children, therapy can help you deal better with disputes and worries over shared custody and maintaining a stable environment for your kids. Therapy can help you manage feelings of anger, resentment, or sadness better, so that they do not adversely affect your ability to co-parent effectively.
One size does not fit all
Good therapy (there are plenty of mediocre therapists out there—so choose wisely) may help you throughout the divorce process and to create a stable, mentally and emotionally healthier future after divorce. Do not, however, feel obligated to engage in therapy if it is of no benefit to you or your children.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277