Conflicting Advice

Conflicting Advice

Divorce is many people’s first and only experience with serious civil litigation.

Many divorce clients can’t believe how different (and how much more disappointing) the legal system is than what they imagined. Given such circumstances, it is understandable when clients doubt whether their attorneys know what they’re doing.

Seeking additional perspectives can help to answer that question—but only to a point. Consulting with multiple legal professionals doesn’t necessarily indicate distrust in your current representation—rather, it acknowledges the complexity of divorce proceedings and the benefit of diverse expertise. Different attorneys may spot unique opportunities or potential pitfalls based on their particular experiences with judges, opposing counsel, or similar cases.

That stated, gathering too many opinions can create confusion and hesitation. It can sow seeds of doubt and distrust. Conflicting advice might leave you second-guessing every decision, thus delaying critical filings or negotiations. There’s also the risk of information overload, where the nuances of your specific situation get lost in a sea of general advice.

Finding the right balance often means doing the work required to select an attorney you trust, while occasionally seeking targeted second opinions when you believe it’s wise, as opposed to doing so out of fear and anxiety. Don’t be afraid to ask your attorney clarifying questions (sincere ones*). Don’t be afraid to make suggestions. A good lawyer will not feel insulted by them but will welcome them and acknowledge when they are helpful to you and to your lawyer.

When discussing your case with other people—be they professionals, friends, participants in online forums, etc.—beware gravitating to those who tell you what you want to hear. Rather, your goal needs to be gaining a comprehensive understanding that allows you to make confident, informed decisions.

Setting needed boundaries on open-mindedness ensures you make informed decisions without getting stuck in “analysis paralysis,” so that you make informed, confident, and timely choices.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277


*And please remember that if you tell your lawyer “I don’t understand” when you really mean (but you don’t have the guts to say), “I don’t like what happened” or “I am dissatisfied with the current state of affairs,” the “failure to communicate” is yours, not your attorney’s.