People divorce for many different reasons, but regardless of the reason or reasons for seeking a divorce, the dissolution of a marriage and the breakup of a family usually causes emotional wounds. A hurt that deep can cause one to become bitter and to believe that revenge is the healing balm.
So, are you desiring revenge? Are you actually seeking revenge? Are you withholding custody of your children from your ex-spouse unjustly, slandering your ex-spouse online, making false reports of child abuse against your ex-spouse to the police and to the Division of Child and Family Services, or filing bogus requests for protective orders or stalking injunctions against your ex?
It may just be an unkind word at first, but it can quickly spiral out of control until you are doing things that you never thought you would. If you let a spirit of revenge possess you, you will find it gets easier and easier to get bolder and bolder in your misdeeds. Revenge can be addictive. Revenge and recovery are incompatible.
Address your pain. Treat your pain. Fill the hole that divorce has left in you. Healing comes not in injuring your ex, but in becoming a better person yourself. Doing what makes you a valued person, being a good person—this is what brings you restored and lasting happiness. You will never know when you will have to have an uncomfortable conversation with your children or your family about how you conducted yourself during your divorce, but it will happen. Make sure you can have those conversations with a clear conscience.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277
