Don’t wait until the first day of school to address custody schedules, school choice, communication with the school, extracurricular costs, or special needs. Review your decree, coordinate with your ex now, and document everything. If your decree is vague, get agreements in writing and, if needed, seek court clarification before conflict erupts.
Back-to-school season is stressful for any parent, but for divorced parents it’s a time when legal and practical issues often collide. Whether your children are returning to a familiar school or starting somewhere new, small misunderstandings now can snowball into major disputes that cause trouble all year long.
This guide covers what to do if:
- You have a detailed, clear decree — follow it and tighten up loose ends.
- You have a vague or silent decree — make written agreements now and get clarification before trouble starts.
Custody and Parent-Time Scheduling Conflicts
If your decree is clear:
- Review your custody and parent-time order now for school-day drop-offs, pick-ups, and transitions.
- Confirm how you’ll handle early release days, teacher workdays, other breaks, and holiday schedules.
If your decree is vague:
- Draft a temporary written agreement for this particular school year (even an email exchange works).
- If no agreement is possible, move or petition for clarification before the semester starts.
Tip:
Utah Code Title 81, Chapter 9, Part 3, Utah contains school year and holiday parent-time schedules. If your order doesn’t spell things out, one of these schedules may apply.
School Choice Disputes
If your decree is clear:
- Follow the decision-making provisions exactly. Joint legal custody generally means both parents must agree on school selection. Even if a joint legal custody order awards “final decision-making authority” or “tie-breaker authority” to one parent, that parent’s decisions are still subject to court review for abuse of that authority.
- Do not unilaterally change a child’s school if both parents share legal custody.
If your decree is vague:
- Discuss school choice well before the semester starts.
- If you can’t agree, file a motion early—courts are less likely to disrupt enrollment after it’s already in progress.
Utah Practice Tip:
“Legal custody” is different from the physical custody award. Even a parent with less parent-time can have equal say in education if he/she has joint legal custody.
Communication with the School
If your decree is clear:
- Give the school both parents’ contact info and, if necessary, a copy of the custody order.
- Sign up for online grade/report portals so both parents have equal access.
If your decree is vague:
- Contact the school to verify what its policies are to access to your children’s records.
- Under Utah Code § 53E-9-205 and FERPA, both custodial and noncustodial parents generally have equal access to student records unless a court order says otherwise.
Extracurricular Activities and Costs
If your decree is clear:
- Follow the payment allocation in your decree.
- Notify the other parent before proposing to enroll the child in activities that affect his/her parent-time. Even if you have sole legal custody or final decision-making authority, it’s still wise and it’s the decent thing to do to notify and confer with the other parent in advance.
If your decree is vague:
- Get written agreement on cost-sharing and transportation before committing to activities.
- Avoid unilateral sign-ups. Good intentions don’t erase conflict when the bill arrives.
Homework, Transportation, and Consistency
If your decree is clear:
- Stick to the transportation plan and communicate quickly (in writing—without a record, claims that you communicated or tried to communicate are all but impossible to prove) if changes are needed.
- Keep similar homework and bedtime routines in both homes for the sake of consistency for the children.
If your decree is vague:
- Use a shared online calendar (like Google calendar) for assignments, projects, and activities.
- Put transportation duties in writing to avoid “I thought you were picking him/her up” disputes.
Special Needs or Accommodations
If your decree is clear:
- Follow the order for attending IEP or 504 plan meetings.
- Share updates from the school promptly.
- Request updates from the school promptly.
If your decree is vague:
- Make sure both parents are invited to special education meetings. Don’t wait for the school to act; check in with the school to know in advance when these meetings take place.
- Agree in writing who will handle extra transportation or therapy needs.
Utah Practice Tip:
Under IDEA (20 U.S.C. § 1415(b)), both parents with legal custody have rights to participate in special education decisions.
Proactive Documentation
No matter how good your decree is:
- Keep a shared calendar (Google Calendar, Our Family Wizard, etc.).
- Save communications in case disputes arise.
- Address violations immediately—small problems rarely fix themselves.
This Is An “Ounce of Prevention Is Worth a Pound of Cure” Situation If Ever There Was One
Whether your decree is airtight or full of gaps, the back-to-school transition is prime time for misunderstandings and conflict. A few hours spent now reviewing your orders, talking with your ex, and looping in the school can save you weeks of frustration, and possibly thousands in legal fees, later.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277