It is not a matter of beliefs that men are generally (not in every single case, but generally) treated unfairly in divorce. It is a fact.
This is why many men believe the system is unfair to them (because it is generally unfair to them).
Courts generally (not in every single case, but odds are that courts generally) formulate and apply enough factors and tests that appear neutral but disproportionately affect fathers adversely for no good reason, so that mothers are awarded sole or primary custody for no good reason other than being mothers/women.
Even if there is no intent to discriminate, many courts still often treat fathers unfairly, making “findings” that awarding sole or joint or equal custody to a father is ill-advised.
A few good examples of this are:
- The “Primary Caregiver” factor. Unless both parents spend precisely the same amount of time providing personal care and supervision of their children, the courts will “find” that the parent who spends 51% more of the time caring for children to be the children’s primary caregiver. This is usually the mother, even when there is no evidence that a father is in any way and unfit parent and when the evidence is clear that he could and would adjust his schedule to increase his caregiving time post-decree to—and gladly—accommodate a joint or equal custody schedule successfully.
- Devaluing Financial Caregiving. In situations where the father is the sole or primary breadwinner, many courts find the father/husband’s financial caregiving to be inferior to the “personal” caregiving that the stay-at-home or part-time employed mother and thus unfit to accommodate a joint or equal custody schedule successfully.
- Subjectively Valuing One Fit Parent’s Parenting Style Over the Other’s. If the father is more hands-off in his parenting style (as many father’s often are)—not because he’s neglectful (he’s not) but because he believes in instilling independence and self-reliance in his children—this legitimate position is often held against him when evaluating child custody factors.
Courts won’t admit it, but they believe mothers are better suited as parents generally, and so in a close case, they will “place the safe bet” and favor mothers over fathers, phrasing their findings of fact in such a way as to appear gender-neutral without actually being gender neutral, and without so much as giving the father a chance to fail at the custody schedule he’s proposed. Courts far too often assume failure rather than test for success.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277
