If you are considering filing for divorce—or if your spouse has already filed—you’ve probably consulted with a divorce lawyer (or should). You likely have your own views (and blind spots) about how strong your case is and how weak your spouse’s case is. That’s natural.
But one of the most common points of tension between lawyers and clients (or prospective clients) arises when the lawyer says, “Your case is weak,” and the client replies, “I don’t believe that.”
What does it actually mean when a lawyer tells you your case is weak on a particular issue—whether it’s child custody, child support, alimony, property division, or any other contested matter?
It does not mean your goals are unimportant. It does not mean your feelings don’t matter. What it means is that under the law that governs your case, and based on the facts that can be proven in court, your desired outcome is unlikely to be achieved. In legal terms, your case lacks “merit.”
For example:
- If you want joint or equal physical custody of your children but live 20 miles away, work 60 hours per week, and cannot show that joint custody would serve the children’s best interests in a practical way—then your legal argument for joint custody is weak.
- If you want $2,000 a month in alimony, but your spouse only nets $3,333 per month, the numbers simply do not support your request—your spouse cannot reasonably pay you $2,000 a month and still meet his or her own basic needs.
You might not like hearing this. That’s understandable. But here’s the hard truth: no amount of belief can change the facts or the law. Wanting something—no matter how sincerely—does not make it legally attainable. Courts do not rule (or at least should not rule) based on who believes or desires the hardest.
If you don’t like what your lawyer is telling you—even if you cannot point to any error in his/her reasoning—you should absolutely seek a second opinion. It is your right to do so, and often a smart move. But if lawyer after lawyer gives you the same or similar analysis, the problem isn’t with the lawyers. It’s with the weakness of the case itself.
If you find yourself clinging to your belief simply because you don’t want it to be true—if you would rather feel right than face the actual merits of your position—then no lawyer, no matter how skilled, can help you (at least not honestly). The best lawyers will tell you the truth, whether you want to hear it or not.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277