Where both parents are fit parents and want to be as involved as possible in rearing that child—both out of a personal interest in enjoying parenthood and out of commitment to fulfilling his/her parental responsibilities—and when they live in close enough proximity to each other that the kids can attend the same school, associate with the same friends, and engage in the same activities regardless of which parent’s house they may spend the night, equal physical custody is as sensible as it is fair and equitable.
While obtaining an award of equal physical child custody is easier than it has ever been and is getting easier, there are still sexist judges who deny fit fathers an equal physical custody award. Forewarned is forearmed.
Judges who don’t award equal custody in such circumstances because of a sexist belief that “children are better off in the sole or primary custody of their mothers” are incompetent and an embarrassment to the legal profession and the judiciary, but some still exist.
If you’re a fit and capable father who has a close and loving relationship with his kids, who lives within walking distance of Mom’s house, and whose work schedule is flexible and conducive to providing personal care and supervision for the children and think “Hey, it’s the 21st century; surely the court won’t discriminate against a man in today’s world and culture, right?,” you’re wrong, sadly. It still happens, and happens frequently. Fathers need “overkill” amounts of evidence to win equal custody (meaning they need far more evidence than can reasonably be expected to meet the preponderance of evidence standard). Fathers need to prove not merely that “equal custody can clearly work well,” or even “there is nothing about a sole or less-than-equal joint custody award that is better for the children than an equal custody award,” but “equal custody is certainly and unquestionably the best custody award option there is out there, and only a fool or a man-hating bigot would contend otherwise.”
There are plenty of parents (mothers especially, though not exclusively) who try to sabotage any hope of successful exercise of equal custody by making false allegations of abuse and neglect against the other parent, by moving far away from the other parent, and by engaging in parental alienation behavior, and that’s a crying shame to do that to a child could benefit so greatly from having both parents as involved as possible in his/her upbringing.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277