So many in the Western world who could be happily married have lost sight of the purpose of marriage, and so their marriages end in divorce not because of any fault of the marriage itself but because of the failure of one or both spouses to do what a happy, healthy marriage requires.
They have lost sight of the facts that:
- the benefits of marriage come only through commitment to and work in and on the marriage.
- marriage brings two imperfect people together for the purpose of helping each other be better, and so if they don’t support each other to the best of their ability, the marriage will essentially be at least to some degree needlessly defective, whether that be emotionally, spiritually, physically, or financially.
- a happy marriage requires the couple to place the welfare of the marriage ahead of individual self-interest.
- marriage without children is like leaving out a key ingredient in a recipe; you’ll still have made something, but it won’t be complete and it won’t be the best it could.
Clearly, some people marry when they should not. But they are the exception, not the rule. The overwhelming majority of us are meant to marry and create a loving family with our spouses. The family is the fundamental building block of a peaceful, thriving society. The almost 50% marriage failure rate in the Western world is not due to any flaw in the institution of marriage but the result of people who fail to prepare properly for marriage and who fail to do what it take to maintain a good marriage.
We’re meant to marry and have families! You can succeed at marriage, but only if you accept the fact that like everything else in life that is worthwhile, it takes much more than wishful thinking. Marriage cannot be a selfish indulgence. It takes loving commitment and sacrifice. It takes grit. It requires patience and forgiveness. But it’s all worth it for the rewards that a strong, happy marriage—and only a strong, happy marriage—provide to the both of you, to your children, and to the community.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277