Many people believe that everyone bends the truth from time to time. While the typical “no, that dress does not make you look fat” white lie in your everyday interactions is understandable (even considered right in some circles), any intentional misrepresentation of fact in your testimony or in the presentation of other evidence in your court case can destroy your credibility and lead to disastrous consequences in the case.
You may see your bending of the truth (whether a lie of omission or commission) as justified to avoid embarrassment or being unduly punished. You may justify lying as “fighting fire with fire” if your spouse is lying in court himself/herself. You may try to excuse lying on the grounds that “everybody does it”. You may justify lying as a means of helping/ensuring you “get what I deserve.” You may believe you can or even should lie because the rewards outweigh the risks.
And the truth is that it’s fairly easy to get away with certain lies in certain circumstances in child custody cases. Are you a woman? Falsely claiming your husband abuses you and/or the children, and falsely claiming that your husband is an unfit parent are popular lies because they have a better than even chance of being believed in many (frankly most) courts, even if it comes down to nothing more than “your word against mine”.
But if your lie(s) is/are discovered, that can deal a fatal blow to your credibility. It can change how the court perceives you and how it will treat you as a result. You say you need alimony? Well, you lied about child abuse/spousal abuse, so the court now has good reason to disbelieve what you say on any topic.
What if I am only bending the truth to get the court order that I deserve? You should be honest about what actually happened. You might lie because you think that your case is too weak or that the judge might not rule in your favor, but that is the risk that you take on when you petition the courts. If you deserve a court order, such as a protective order or temporary orders, you can get the order without lying, and by proving your need with factual evidence. If you are caught, you run the risk of not getting any order that you need, and possibly being sanctioned by the court.
What if I am worried about lying by accident? Whether it is a quirk of memory, or you honestly forgot about an aspect of an incident, you should be honest about it. Staking your entire case on a guess that you fabricated to fill in the gaps in your memory is a terrible way to succeed, especially if record or proof of the incident actually exists. The truth exists and can be verified.
What if it is my word against his? What if there is no proof? Then your credibility is all that you have. If you didn’t have the presence of mind to record or collect evidence, you can still find other ways to prove your case. If you cannot provide evidence about what happened, you probably have access to evidence that can prove what kind of person your spouse is. If all else fails and all you have is your testimony, then lying is the worst thing that you could do to win your case.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277
